The mojo is lost

Yes. Its official.
I have lost my mojo.
My raison d'etre.

I am trying things now. Hopefully to find said mojo.

Vitamin D chewies.

Writing. (aka pecking on keyboard occasional thoughts and mental burps)

I did read a nice Quora answer - Just show up. A nice enough, rather passive version of Just Do It - swoosh ..  ,
Just show up. So I am poking the unresponsive bear inside me with that proverbial schtick.

Just. Show. Up.

Go to work. Do the things that need to be done. Wait for this off ennui to pass.
Meanwhile try writing - (or pecking away at keyboard)

Maybe something will happen?

Maybe nothing will happen. 

The Laws of Attraction

Atrraction:
at·trac·tion/əˈtrakSHən/
Noun:
1. The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something: "the timeless attraction of a good tune".
2. A quality or feature of something or someone that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
or as I like to define it - when you see someone across a table for the first time and you feel like you have known them forever. Or somewhere, in a previous lifetime. The kind of feeling that makes you believe in things like previous lives.
But the laws of attraction come with the rules of engagement. And no one messes with them. To mess with the rules of engagement would mean that you have effectively tipped over a bucket of poop on your entire life. Smelly stinky poop.
What is it about a smile or a glance or timbre of voice that can set the heart singing or even set the teeth of edge? It works the other way as well - sometimes, the sight of someone can set your fingers raking your scalp; or wishing that your retinas instantly dissolved. (Gruesome eh?) I really must change my ipod's playlist - less Marilyn Manson more Taylor Swift .
So dealing with the attraction and bound by the rules of engagement - very often one finds themselves spliced like a worm in a lab. The best thing as my favorite Uncle Bill said is to go sleep in a bottle of whiskey for six months. You would definitely forget the attraction, but in all likelihood, you would forget who you were. That said, I am probably not going to find a bottle large enough for me, but I am going to find a way out of this - and I intend to do it the hard way - the eat.pray.love way - focus on good positive thoughts, stretch like a pretzel and pretend that the attraction that tripped my heartrate was a figment of a fractured imagination.

To the fullest

Carpe Diem. Live life to the fullest. Enjoy each day as it was your last.

This morning, as I was trying to find the energy to get a move on and get to work, I switched on the telly (like you do) and The Fight Club was on. It was a scene where Tyler (unforgettably characterised by Brad Pitt) holds a gun to the head of the cashier of supermarket and demands his wallet. I wont spoil the magic of the movie entirely, but what I pulled from that 5 minute view was that life is not something you throw away.

There is a kind of injustice to yourself if you whittle away this life, this gift, in a job or a place that simply doesnt challenge you.

Perhaps life should not always be an adrenalin rush, but nevertheless life where routine becomes the cornerstone of every inhaled and exhaled breathe - then it is time to rethink.

There was a friend of mine who questioned me, roughly on why I was wasting my life. Why do I seem to constantly start things and never really complete them? His questioning was a virtual gripping of my arms and shaking the lethargy, the passiveness out of me. I wish I could say that his questioning me helped me find the path to better myself. To seek and explore and hunt out the new better version of myself.

But it didnt. My emotions got caught up in a snare and I spent the rest of the year paralysed with sadness. The paralysing sadness was the direct result of the end of a relationship; but now, looking back I realise that every minute of my life taught me something. Every minute spent was a gift and every minute forward is a gift waiting to be explored.  

So Carpe Diem indeed.